Get Married or Not 💒 Get to Know the Popular Concepts of Marriage in China

Curious About Attitudes Towards Chinese Women and Marriage? Watch Get Married or Not!

我期待的那个人,一定见过我最糟糕的一面,是我的边界。
wǒ qídài dì nàgè rén, yīdìng jiànguò wǒ zuì zāogāo de yīmiàn, shì wǒ de biānjiè.
The person I’m waiting for must have seen my worst side, this is my boundary.

也见过我最好的一面,是我最真实的观众。
Yě jiànguò wǒ zuì hǎo de yīmiàn, shì wǒ zuì zhēnshí de guānzhòng.
They also must have seen my best side, they are my most authentic audience.

line by Tongyao in Get married or Not episode 34

Get Married or Not Review 2020: What it’s About

Get Married or Not is a Chinese TV show released in 2020.

The Chinese name is called 谁说我结不了婚 shuíshuō wǒ jiébùliǎo hūn, literally: “who said I can’t get married” in English.

It is remake from the 2016 TBS (Tokyo Broadcasting System) TV drama of the same name.

It has 40 episodes, each one lasting 45 minutes.

A brief introduction – Get Married or Not is about three independent women in their 30s who all have successful careers. However they are also labelled as failing in life because they are single and unmarried.

One reason why I want to recommend this TV show is that you will learn a lot of popular concepts about Chinese women and marriage.

Their own attitudes towards marriage as well as other people’s points of view about marriage.

Alert: You may find the plot rather absurd or ridiculous. Trust me, this is a very common attitude in China and most people just view life this way.
If you find some scenes hard to understand, leave us a comment and you are welcome to join the discussion.

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Get Married or Not Review 2020: Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfz5wx5uWG8
Get Married or Not Review 2020 : Trailer

Get Married or Not Review 2020: Main Characters

Cheng Lu (程璐 chéng lù),a 34 year old editor.

Get Married or Not - Cheng Lu
Get Married or Not – Cheng Lu

She has never had a relationship before, except she did have a crush on her classmate in university but he never knew.

When faced with the problem of getting married, she was full of confusion.

Why has a single woman over 30 years old not married.

Is it because she doesn’t want to or is it that because she can’t.

During the course of doing survey interviews, she receives a variety of answers. Interviewees also included her best friends Tian Lei and Ding Shiya.

Chenglu is played by (Tong Yao 童瑶 tóngyáo). A famous Chinese actress who looks similar to Zhang Ziyi (章子怡 zhāngziyi), who’s hugely popular in China.

Bonus: In China, students are not allowed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend until entering university. Early love (早恋 zǎoliàn) is not allowed because parents and teachers think it will influence your studies and is harmful for your body.

Get Married or Not - Tian Le
Get Married or Not – Tian Le

Tian Lei (田蕾 tián lěi), is a lawyer who’s just been promoted to secondary partner.

She fights so hard battling against all these male lawyers and finally has the chance to go to the 14th building to have a meeting.

In her world she believes that results come before everything.

You may find it difficult to like her at first because she is so tough and even plays tricks to win.

Because she is over 30 years old and has no boyfriend, she is labelled as “elderly, single, young woman” and suffers sexism in the workplace.

Her parents got divorced when she was young. She never gets love or appreciation from her father who believes that women just need to get married and give birth.

Tian Lei is played by (Chen Shu 陈数 chén shù). Chen Shu is famous for her great performance role playing. She has won a lot of great acting awards.

For instance most popular actress in 26th China Golden Eagle TV Art Festival, Best Supporting Actress in the 11th Macau International Movie Festival, Best Actress in the 17th Shanghai TV Festival and so on.

Bonus: Even now in China, especially in the countryside, parents think that women should just get married and have children, otherwise you will be labelled as having something wrong with you. Even if your independent in your career and life, most people will judge women who are over 30 and unmarried.

Get Married or not-Dingshiya
Get Married or not-Dingshiya

Ding Shiya丁(诗雅 dīngshīyǎ), works in a beauty salon and lives with Tian Lei.

They live upstairs in the same building as Cheng Lu. The three of them are best friends and always hang out together after work.

Ding Shiya is also over 30 years old.

She has a crush on her boss and had been waiting for him for 6 years. However, he just got married abroad.

Meanwhile a 富二代(fùèrdài), a young boy who’s very rich, likes her a lot and tries to ask her out.

What’s her choice? Will she still keep loving her boss or be swayed by the boy?

Ding Shiya is played by Xu Fangyi (许芳铱 xǔ fāngyī). A Chinese actress who was born in Beijing in 1990.

In China, there is a famous saying called 三十而立 sān shí ér lì, which means: A man should be independent by the age of thirty.

Get Married or not-Weishu
Get Married or not-Weishu

Wei Shu (魏书 wèi shū) is a professor of psychology at university and also a co-owner of a bar restaurant.

When it comes to love theory, he knows everything, he is a little annoying for being so honest.

We call him 毒 (poison) 舌 (tongue): dúshé.

Because of his study into why women can’t get married over 30, he has a strange encounter with Cheng Lu.

In order to help Cheng Lu change her current situation of being older and single, Wei Shu gives her a lot of tips.

However after meeting her several times, he just falls in love with her. As a person who has been divorced before, will he be brave enough to tell her?

Wei Shu is played by Pan Yueming (潘粤明 pān yuèmíng). Pan Yueming is a famous actor in China and is good at drawing.

He had a short four year marriage with Chinese actresses Dong Jie (董洁 dǒng jié). He got divorced because his wife cheated on him.

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Get Married or Not Review 2020 : Where to Watch

  • You can watch Get Married or Not for free on Chinese streaming sites Youku or iQiyi.

Get Married or Not Review 2020: Vocab to Learn Chinese

  • 经济独立 jīngjì dúlì – Economic independence
  • 男女平等 nánnǚpíngděng – Gender equality
  • 职场性别歧视 zhíchǎng xìngbié qíshì – Workplace sexism
  • 男大当婚 nán dà dāng hūn – Man should get married when he is aged
  • 女大当嫁 nǚ dà dāng jià Woman should get married when she is aged

Get Married or Not Review 2020 : Chinese Female Marriage

One word for you to know is the age when women could get married in ancient times.

The word is 及笄 jí jī which means coming-of-age ceremony, which was when women were 15 years old.

In ancient times when girls were 15 years old, they can use jī (hairpin for bun) to tie their hair, which also means they can get married, hence it is called the coming-of-age ceremony.

Foot binding 缠足 chánzú has been forbidden since 1949. Before girls had to have their feet bound when they were 4 or 5 years old. One reason why foot binding was so popular in ancient time was that if a girl didn’t have her feet bound her marriage prospects would be influenced.

In other words you wouldn’t be able to find a good husband to marry you.

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The movie tells six stories of people and their pets and how they find love in their lives.

In the past in China we believed and lived by the idiom: 父母之命,媒妁之言 (fù mǔ zhī mìng, méi shuò zhī yán) which means make a match by parents’ order and on the matchmaker’s word.

This means in marriage we must listen to our parents and we don’t even have a chance to see our life partner until the day we get married.

Women are more independent now in modern society and they have the right to choose whether they get married or not or when they will get married.

They have this freedom and after watching this TV show, what’s your opinion about women and marriage? Leave us a comment and tell us your views on the program and what you think about wedding traditions in China.

Edited by Katie Coy

Get Married or Not Drama : FAQ’s

What is the Chinese name of Get Married or Not?

The Chinese name of Get Married or Not is 谁说我结不了婚 shuíshuō wǒ jiébùliǎo hūn.

Can you watch Get Married or Not with English subtitles

No, right now Get Married or Not doesn’t have English subtitles. But just think it will be a great way for you to do some intense Chinese learning!

Is it common in China that women are not married over 30?

Yes, it is common especially in Beijing and Shanghai. It is getting more and more frequent compared to before when this is much less common.

How many episodes are there in Get Married or Not?

There are 40 episodes in Get Married or Not, with each one lasting 45 mins.

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